The lived experience of his passing greatly expanded my known feeling of being alive. When I read Sophie's World in 2005, I had underlined the quote above as I understood it and knew the importance of its message - but now, I feel its meaning and known wisdom much more acutely. With this my dedication to being my greatest self and living my most fullest life has surfaced to the forefront of my awareness, renewed with full energy, faith and absolute necessity. "I will do my biggest, best life and be my fullest self." I affirmed.
"But what would that be?"
I thought to myself, "Fearless."
"So, then, I need to figure out - where am I holding back? ..."
Luckily, before my mind had time to take hold of these questions in the tiresome way that minds sometimes do, the answer came to me, literally. It was just a few days ago. I was organizing the book shelves in the closet of my childhood bedroom and I knocked a couple of notebooks off the shelf. They fell to the ground and a loose page came out, with the heading, "Lauren's Legacy".
When I was a child and into my early teen years, I made sure to, with regularity, (and colored pencils, lots of asterisks) write to my future adult self. I noted, listed, and wrote over and over again, in books, journals, pieces of paper tucked behind furniture, what my purpose was, life goals, values, and personal favorites.
This self-truth and awareness has guided me most of my life. And yet, somehow, I had slipped away from my own guidance, and had taken, instead, an adoring perspective - cherishing these relics and dreams of an "oh so cute" little girl. The moment I realized that, "Bingo". That is where my fear was hiding. (I'll let you fill in the meaning here).
And so in dedication to you Grandpa Gene, and to my future self.
With love, Lauren.
What will your legacy be?